The question today is do you play the game and win or stick to your morals and loose? Sometimes, is it better just to win even if that win seems hollow and empty? Are you really winning? And even if it doesn’t really feel like a win to you, maybe playing along for that battle will allow you to ultimately win your own war. Of course, can you feel okay about how you won the war knowing you sold yourself to win a few battles? For example, does a successful and ethical CEO ever feel truly happy knowing he cheated a bit in college to get where he is now? I mean, we all play the game a bit, it’s a given. The question is how far are you willing to bend over backwards to get where you want to be. And when you get there, can you ever really enjoy it while your ass is still hurting from all the times you were screwed?
I don’t believe in regrets but I’ve been looking at my life and I’m upset with how I handled a lot of conflict situations. Often, I didn’t stand up for the people or ideas that I believed in. These were the minority and I always figured not ruffling feathers or getting involved was the best approach. Looking back I am appalled that I took the easy way out and have been focusing on not making that mistake in the future. I don’t want to appear argumentative, but I also don’t think staying quiet is really helping anyone. Of course, it is always about comparing the size of the win with the casualties of the battle. Some battles really aren’t worth fighting. But sometimes, I just feel like we all get too complacent, too tolerant of others negative behavior. By not causing a commotion, we are condoning their harmful and narcissistic actions and allowing them to continue. Do we passively go along with the notion that the son revolves around us so we don‘t look like the bad guy? Or do we chose to appear like raving idiots, standing up and exclaiming that we are not the center of the universe. For me, I think standing by my convictions is the most important thing because at the end of the day I have to live with myself. Well the battle is about to begin so I should go get my weapons ready for attack. You know what they say is the best defense.bb..
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Age Discrimination
So lately I've been looking into the dating websites. I sincerely believe they are incapable of doing what they advertise and their only use is to find weird people to talk to. But this blog is not about the inefficiency of those dating sites but about age. Where should I start?
After scavenging a handful of dating websites I noted a pretty common feature. When searching for people/matches/dates you are asked to put it a short list of criteria: male/female, how far away they live, must have a photo (yes or no), when they were last online, and an age range. Obviously, I'm going to talk about the latter.
I'm not sure how many of you reading this have used sites like this before, but it has really made me think a lot about where you draw the age line. Ok, let's back up. When you are in high school it is a big deal if a senior dates a freshman. But when you look at your parents, it is not at all unacceptable for them to be 10 years apart. So where does that leave those of us (like me) in the middle? I sit there, staring at my screen, wondering what is too young or too old to date.
Well, I know anyone under 18 is a no but what about the odd 18-20 range. They can't drink yet so that can be messy but still not a deal breaker. But what about maturity? I met a really sweet 18 year old but it was more than apparent of his innocence. So if not 18, what about 19, or 20? I once heard a rule about dating younger. It says take half you age and add 7. Hmm..(24/2) + 7 = 19. Well, I guess that solves that??
So what about the question "how old is too old?" Is 30 too old? Well surely 30 isn't too old because I met a 31 year old the other day and he didn't seem much older than me. So if 31 is okay, then what about 32? 33? 34? 35?....I mean where do you cut it off? How can anyone be expected to go to a dating site and say "no one older than 33; that's my cutoff."
I understand that age is just a number and it has much more to do with what stage your are at in life and maybe your overall maturity. I also think it has to do with your personality. For example, my friend Stephen has a thing for older women. I believe it is because he is VERY intelligent for his age and he is used to his "peers" being people who were older than him. As for me, I've always had a thing for younger guys. Whether it be an old high school boyfriend who's 2 years younger, or rocker who's 21. Granted, that's not a huge age difference, but I think it's important to note my motherly personality is naturally attracted to boys younger than myself.
Overall, my point of of all of this is to make YOU think about your own age range. How easily could you come up with definitive caps to your age requirements? Can you really just sit down and say: "39 is ok, but 40 is too old." I know you can't so don't even lie to yourself. Seriously, spend a few minutes thinking about it. I think you will realize that it's an interesting quandary.
After scavenging a handful of dating websites I noted a pretty common feature. When searching for people/matches/dates you are asked to put it a short list of criteria: male/female, how far away they live, must have a photo (yes or no), when they were last online, and an age range. Obviously, I'm going to talk about the latter.
I'm not sure how many of you reading this have used sites like this before, but it has really made me think a lot about where you draw the age line. Ok, let's back up. When you are in high school it is a big deal if a senior dates a freshman. But when you look at your parents, it is not at all unacceptable for them to be 10 years apart. So where does that leave those of us (like me) in the middle? I sit there, staring at my screen, wondering what is too young or too old to date.
Well, I know anyone under 18 is a no but what about the odd 18-20 range. They can't drink yet so that can be messy but still not a deal breaker. But what about maturity? I met a really sweet 18 year old but it was more than apparent of his innocence. So if not 18, what about 19, or 20? I once heard a rule about dating younger. It says take half you age and add 7. Hmm..(24/2) + 7 = 19. Well, I guess that solves that??
So what about the question "how old is too old?" Is 30 too old? Well surely 30 isn't too old because I met a 31 year old the other day and he didn't seem much older than me. So if 31 is okay, then what about 32? 33? 34? 35?....I mean where do you cut it off? How can anyone be expected to go to a dating site and say "no one older than 33; that's my cutoff."
I understand that age is just a number and it has much more to do with what stage your are at in life and maybe your overall maturity. I also think it has to do with your personality. For example, my friend Stephen has a thing for older women. I believe it is because he is VERY intelligent for his age and he is used to his "peers" being people who were older than him. As for me, I've always had a thing for younger guys. Whether it be an old high school boyfriend who's 2 years younger, or rocker who's 21. Granted, that's not a huge age difference, but I think it's important to note my motherly personality is naturally attracted to boys younger than myself.
Overall, my point of of all of this is to make YOU think about your own age range. How easily could you come up with definitive caps to your age requirements? Can you really just sit down and say: "39 is ok, but 40 is too old." I know you can't so don't even lie to yourself. Seriously, spend a few minutes thinking about it. I think you will realize that it's an interesting quandary.
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