No one wants to look like the fool; no one wants to be rejected. Yet ultimately, someone has to step up to the plate and get the ball rolling. The question is Who. So I went on a mission to discover how society felt on the subject. Most people gave me the easy, I mean generic answers: "I donno" and "depends on the situation." To me that proved that most people were just as lost on this issue as I was. So I kept probing and received a couple of interesting answers. One guy admitted his response was old fashioned, but he still put the responsibility on the guy. I had a handful of girls say the same thing but I believe that is do to their lack of nerve more than anything else. It's always easier to pass the buck. I asked people if age or experience played a factor. If someone is older, are they expected to make the first move because they've been in that situation more? When given this prompt, a lot of people agreed but since it was fed to them I consider that framing bias. When I asked my best friend who should make the first move, he gave me most interesting response. He said it is the responsibility of whomever wants it the most. While this is clearly the most logical answer, most people do not not approach the situation that way.
As always, I tried to apply this concept to my own life. I looked at my past and realized 99% of the time I waited for the other person to make the first move. I assume this stems from my lack of self esteem more than anything else. Yet, that justification did not make me feel any better about my prior actions so I looked to change this vicious cycle. Recently, I started playing the game again. A guy and I had hit the stalemate point; nether of us moving for fear of exposing our most prized piece: our king of pride. I ran through all the scenarios of my research trying to determine who's job it was to make a game changing move. Unfortunately, my findings landed me with conflicting conclusions. He was a guy so maybe it was his responsibility, but I was older so maybe it was mine. How could I determine who wanted it more? Perhaps this was the catch-22.
I wish the moral of this blog could simply be: forget the rules and take matters into your own hands. There's no time like the present. Seize the day...etc etc. But that would make me a hypocrite because I did no such thing. I told myself I would and yet I subconsciously found a a middle man to negotiate the draw. Then again, maybe there's nothing wrong with that approach. If fear of rejection is taken out of the mix, both players can relax and not care who's Queen takes King.
So lets just check and mate.
