V-Day is for Virgins, Kindness is for Kooks

As a single girl (not by choice), I should be annoyed by the approaching holiday celebrating some martyred saints no one knows much about. Honestly, I could really care less about it anymore. When I was younger and more innocent, I spent Valentine's Day after Valentine's Day with high hopes. I was always in serious relationships and I expected some sort of romantic gesture from my suitor. In the end, I was lucky if I got flowers and maybe a less than desirable meal. Now, I'm just happy that the pressure is off and that I can  expect nothing from February 14th except a busy day at work. But this blog isn't really about Valentine's Day. It should be titled:

Random Acts of Kindness 
Being a nice person will get you walked all over...


.....Oh, I'm sorry you wanted more? I thought the title + subtitle was self explanatory, but I will elaborate. My Best Friend Stephen says you have to accept the consequences of your actions. If you want to do something nice, you have to be ok with the possible result that no one will say thank you. If you've read my last blog, you know that I'm pretty accustom to hearing only the negative complaint instead of the positive phrase. But what if it's more than that?

So you spend your time and money making food for your co workers to boost moral and no one verbally appreciates it; not a big deal. Honestly, I know better than to expect a thank you; it's so much more than that. Everyday I experience that not only is my kindness not recognized, but used as an Achilles' Heel to take me down to others' unhappy level. People see caring as an emotion, and society tells us emotional people are weak. Just like a predator will pray on the frail, these sad people use the caring as their punching bags. They see our heart's exposed and shoot it with a black arrow, piercing us just like Bard kills Smaug. **ya I just pulled out The Hobbit reference** 
It's hard enough to not be rewarded for being nice, but to be punished is just incomprehensible. What kind of world do will we live in if the good are hunted by the cold-hearted? Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe you will read this and leave me comments of the glorious appreciations you have received for being a charitable person. I really hope you do. All I know is I see the people who never look up to give someone the time of day and they rarely get attacked. Survival of the fittest. Sometimes the best way to survive is keeping your head down and talking to no one. But let's be honest, a leopard can't change it's spots and I can't stop being nice to people. So at least I can admit I have a target on my back and a huge arrow pointing me out to all those that need an easy mark. Go ahead, take your shot. Honestly, you can't say anything mean about me that I haven't already thought of myself. Maybe the best kindness I can give is allowing others a person to displace their anger on. I'll see you tomorrow, I'll be the one with the exposed left breast. Don't get the reference? Look it up!

Positive Thought

This may be a little pessimistic but I'm starting to seriously wonder about the concept of  the power of positive thought. When I was younger (only a short time ago, actually) I honestly believed in the idea that if you sent out positive energy you would receive it in return. Okay, so I now see how silly it sounds when I write it down, but I challenge you to think if you've ever felt that thinking positive would acquire a better result. It's not such a hard idea to subscribe to. I mean, many people (including myself) believe in Karma; the idea that our actions will cause a ripple effect and come back to us ten fold. So the idea that we could do that with brain waves isn't that crazy of a concept. Or is it?

Tonight I was angry because I felt like karma was on vacation. I had done multiple good deeds, gone above and beyond my job, and yet when I needed someone to help me, no one was there. I was angry; oh you can only imagine how angry. So someone insisted that I think positive. That by not worrying about the problem so much, and "visualizing what I wanted" things would solve themselves. Well tonight, I called shenanigans on that in a heartbeat. I was upset and fed up with the false promises of thinking positive. I mean, even the person who recommended this therapy was guilty of blowing up when things weren't going well. What happen to positive thought, Missy? And then, it really dawned on me. It's as simple as the classic phrase: the squeaky wheel gets the oil.

No one likes a complainer, a whiner, or a Debbie Downer. What's important is to look at how people deal with them. I don't know about you, but in my 25+ years of my experience I have most often seen people take the same approach: shit them up. It's like a child causing a tantrum in public. the parents find it easier to give in than to hold out. So if the people who are doing nothing and still complain get special treatment then what happens to those who stay quite and do their job. Obviously you guessed it, they get screwed. You asked for a real world example? Okay here's one: a girl complains that she can't stay at work till close because the weather is bad and she is afraid of getting home safely.  Her request is indulged because she is vocal about it. Then in turn, her loyal coworkers are forced to pick up the slack. After she is off work, she decides, last minute, to go out to drink with her co-workers, disproving her claim of worry about getting home safely.

Okay, so you may think I'm getting off topic with this, so let me bring it all together. The people who quietly think positively about their future get forgotten about, while the people that negatively vocalize their opinions get taken care of. After experiencing this time and time again, I seriously ask supporters of the "positive thought" to come show me how that can really work.

And trust me, I'm positive about this....er.....i mean negative about this. Wow, this is tricky.