"Flattery Will Get You Everywhere"

I don't care if you're 18 or 80, we all like to be flirted with. Flirting boosts our self-esteem. It makes us feel desirable and sexy. Self-esteem leads to a more confident and happy individual.*  Remember how you felt at the beginning of your last/current relationship? The way your heart would beat a little faster? That ear to ear grin that was plastered on your face? The random giggles that no one else understood? The simple feeling of being wanted? We all know that's a great time but we can't always be at that stage. Although, when done correctly, flirting can give you most of those benefits without the games or possible heartbreak.

Another benefit to flirting is that it is often a substitution for joking. Jokes tend to illicit negative remarks. Although not meant to be taken seriously, it can still leave the subject feeling a little down. On the other hand, flirtation leaves the subject feeling sexy, smart, and or well liked. There is nothing negative there.

Studies show that men with higher levels of testosterone (sex drive) are 20% better with "verbal fluency." I could give you some similar study about women but I will be honest I couldn't find one. Then again, do you know how difficult it is to find a serious research case when using the search string: "women, sexual arousal, better, happier."I'm sure there are plenty of legitimate studies illustrating the health benefits created when women are aroused.

My assertion is that by flirting, you are actually doing something positive and helpful for not only you but someone else.

This is not to say there aren't scenarios where innocent flirtation is not acceptable but if you follow these rules, flirtation can be a harmless, self strengthening tool.

The Rules

1. Make sure there are no other parties involved, e.g., spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends. If flirtation initiates reasonable jealousy from a 3rd party, you will only end up with more drama and even feelings of guilt or immorality.
   
2. Don't flirt with anyone who is clingy, co-dependant, or might have pre-established feelings for you. In this scenario, you are just adding lighter fluid to the fire. Unless you are a bitch, a control freak, or a sadist, you will find yourself with more than you bargained for. On the flip side, do not attempt flirting if you yourself are clingy, co-dependant, or have or may in the future have feelings for the subject. That road no longer falls under the blanket of harmless, innocent flirting. If you do not divert yourself from this path, you will most likely end up arriving at the Heartbreak Hotel.
   
3. Don't flirt with authority figures, e.g., teacher, boss, or police officer. This can get you into real trouble that can have serious and lasting consequences. Some people get a rush from such a risky situation. but most often the benefits do not out way the costs.
   
4. Probably the most obvious rule is to watch for signs that your flirting is unwanted, especially in the work place. Sexual harassment is a serious thing and you should never cross over the boundary that makes someone feel uncomfortable. 

By following those few simple rules, you will find flirting to be a wonderful way to brighten both your day and the day of others. By following the rules, flirtation creates no victims, only winners. Let's be honest, who doesn't love to be complimented? A touch, a look, or a word can be enough to make someone smile inside and out. Personally, I love to flirt. It makes me feel young and vibrant and if the subject flirts back, it's a bonus. Does that mean I follow every rule to a T? Of course not, but that doesn't mean they aren't great guidelines to follow.

Like Edgar, King of Figaro once said, "flattery will get you everywhere." Try it, you might be surprised at the results.

*on a side note, it is important to note that self-esteem cannot come entirely from others. most of it must come from within. If your self worth is riding on the praise from others, you will never be happy. That being sad, there is nothing wrong with people's compliments giving you a boost in the right direction.